One week until Christmas and all through the house,
I tripped upon presents and found a dead mouse!
The tree was lit up with glass ornaments and all,
when the cat climbed its branches and started to fall.
Crackle and snap! Bulbs started to pop!
As the cat shredded tinsel, the angel did drop!
Sparks flew from the wall, the plug from the socket;
its hasty departure ignited the cat-rocket!
I ran and I screamed towards the cat in the sky;
I swung and I swore to the cat, "your end's nigh!"
He landed claws out on a freshly wrapped package;
my wrath would soon be endured by the savage.
As I reached for his scruff the beast ran 'tween my feet
and I tripped on the box filled with chocolatey sweets
now covered in brown chocolate salty confection
I rose to my feet for some kitty detection
"Here kitty, here kitty," I started to call
when off of the bookcase the lion did maul!
Oh Christmas! Dear Jesus! What have I created?!
A genuine, bonafide, domesticated...
Demonic, satanic, feline marauder
turned on his owner and ready for slaughter!
Then falling on Billy's new bicycle parts
I felt that the metal has spikes and it smarts!
Then catching a glimpse of my furry contender
he bolted from sight, so I reached for the blender.
Now maybe this move seems a strange thing to you,
but I tend to think a Margherita is due.
Not only has satan possessed my cat
but my Christmas decor and the presents are splat
With one week to go, and so much to do,
how will I get by? How will I get through?
I cleaned and I swept up the mess that was made
from the cat and my antics of lunatic rage
Christmas was lovely, we sipped on eggnog
And all prayers were answered, Santa gave me a dog.
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